"I've tried so hard and got so far.."

I seriously haven't got the slightest clue what to start this post with. It is the end of my first university year and jeez, so much stuff has happened recently. Really, I should probably throw away all those long introductions and actually write to the point.

Strangely enough the time after the exams turned out to be the most difficult - the practice. I swear during this absolutely mental period I made up and typed 29 pages of tests in English, and even though it was quite enjoyable I could still feel a particular kind of fatigue when you sleep for barely more than 3 bloody hours. Again, I'd love to thank Mrs Prima - I genuinely cannot pick a word to describe how much she did for the whole group and me. You are an amazing human being and a great teacher, I shall be eternally grateful to you for how you encouraged me and helped to go through the hard times.

Then there's the dwelling change. Oh. My. God. I am currently sat in my brand new apartment writing away whilst the trams go past and the warm streetlights of Stavropol'skaya St shine into my window. This flat is the most comfortable and cosy place in the whole entire universe and I'm so very happy we got it. This is the place just for me and I can do whatever the hell I want to. LOVE IT. I'm still trying to make it look 'homey. Stacey style yo' - those little rugs, jars and fairy lights are the things that matter most. Having moved in I realised a couple of things about myself. A) I am a motherfricking perfectionist and can't stand a mess. No way if I see dust or a dirty plate in the sink. B) I rather enjoy being alone, unless it's the night and all kinds of scary monsters come out to feast on my limbs (thanks to my duvet I wake up in the morning safe and sound) and C) I absolutely adore to have guests around my house. Seriously, that one thing is the epitome of me. Perhaps if you're still reading this you are truly a devoted reader, so I invite you to be my guest!
The apartment is on the 4th flour, the windows facing the street where my beloved university is located. There's a balcony with a huge opened window where I can drink tea and write poems (gosh this is so disgustingly cliche, no, I shall not do that haha). I've got a a spacious (finally) room  - a great place to do somersaults and yoga!
Basically - I'm a veeery tired but happy Stacey. Yeah.

But moving on to moments not so pleasing I'd like to mention the nostalgia I'm surely going to have about this year. The old apartment and my flatmate - our inside jokes and stupid videos, the mysterious things we found in the farthest corners of flat 41. I am defo going to miss it.
My adventures with Nestea, there's literally quite a handful of memories - we never went anywhere without each other - the ethnofitness, library of coffee, our incredible trip to Sochi..

Surely I am going to miss a person with whom I feel a strong connection and closeness - he's a very unusual human being but in most situations I feel him on a spiritual level and we have lots in common. Perhaps he has lots of friends, soulmates, with whom the connection is just as strong as it was with me, but I don't really care. The words he said to me I've never heard from anyone else.You know that feeling, when you wanna get on with someone so you start pretending you like the things he/she does? Well, I never did this with him. It's so frustrating and even slightly painful to realise he's off to St Petersburg forever. Bloody hell you don't meet such folks every day. Feels like something is tearing off an enormous part of my soul, ew that's horrible. Pretty sure he's going to do well in life. Hi if you're reading this, by the way) don't forget about the letter I gave you hehe.

Well, I thought this post was going to come out longer, but I'm glad it turned out this size - less moaning about how nostalgic I shall feel in the next months. A half of me is beyond happy and is grateful for EVERYTHING that happened, the other part, however, is grumpy and hates three things - ends, separations and goodbyes. Just recently I discovered  - the older I get, the less stability I can feel - life is so ridiculously changeable and unstable. People come and go and hell knows if you're ever going to see each other again, places change, thoughts vary.. plus being left handed and veery emotional it's sometimes difficult for me to cope with it. I shall work on myself and try to become peaceful. A peaceful warrior haha. Nice one.

-Stacey x

A Summery Day Away

Why, about a week ago this post was supposed to be a bit of a downer, but having just got back from a seaside holiday I surely left all the sad thoughts behind. This year turned out to be a helluva stressful one - the start of university and life on your own comes with not only heaps of new acquaintances, emotions and impressions, but also with a truck of duties and responsibilities. Really, I think it's been a good one. I've got only two exams left, where I'll have to ACTUALLY pass only one - English, and it's going to be quite fun, I'm pretty sure, I'm even looking forward to it (or is that too weird? haha I don't know).
But going back to the sweet topic called holiday I would like to share a couple of shots with you taken by my mom. Frankly speaking, it used to be an annual thing - going to the seaside mit meine Familie, but since the whole OH-MY-GOD-THE-EXAMS-ARE-COMING thing this annual trip sank somewhere about 3-4 years ago. Hence I thoroughly enjoyed being around my dearest & nearest. From now on I shall be looking forward to going to the seaside with my beloved groupmates...Oh no hang on, I have to pass the exams first. BRING IT ON MWAHAHA!

-Stacey x

Clubbing & Rambling

G'day to you, my reader. I was going to say I haven't posted anything in ages, but then it occurred to me I start the swingeing (what an amazing word oh my gosh) majority of my posts with this very sentence. So I'm just going to begin with a brief description of how I came across the "new post" button on my blog today. Having had a good old afternoon read and subsequently a short nap I decided to make myself a cappuccino. Right. If you are a mindful reader or a friend of mine you'd know I don't like coffee, but I thought I could just have another try and understand it. I'm such an adventurer I can't even haha. Even though the smell of it was absolutely gorgeous, half way through I realised I'm still not into coffee and put it away. The bitter aftertaste aroused the writing inspiration and here I am. Tadaaah! 

But in all seriousness, this week has been an emotional roller coaster. You see, I went clubbing for the first time in my life, moreover, I went clubbing with my beloved groupmates. It was quite a fun night and I have to say I (rubbish-) danced my heart away, but dear God, only a few know what I had to go through before it haha! I visited a well-known shopping center literally four times in four days. FOUR! And I could not pick a decent outfit for the party. Jeez! It seemed like EVERY clothing item looked hideous on me and by the end of day three I felt downright desperate. The party was supposed to take place the following day and I was sat in a dressing room feeling lost, pathetic, and fat. It's so funny remembering that unfortunate shopping, but at the time I legit had no idea what to do, so I asked my mom to come. She is literally my saviour - the blasted outfit was bought (almost straight away) 4 hours before the party and it did look great. I've had just one shot and felt like watching the others would be a better idea rather than drinking myself. Plus I've never been drunk in my life so there was a risk I'd get all wooshy and fooshy haha. I think it was a good debut - at least now I know what clubbing is! I definitely want to have more parties like this one - such a great time! 

The next couple of days turned out to be quite productive and relaxing at the same time, I'd like to mark out the fabulous skype conversation with my lil German pal Anna-Maria - discussing food, arty things and education really does make my day. I'm so looking forward to meeting you one day honey!! You're the best! 

So that's about it I guess, perhaps this post was slightly boring (for which I do apologise), but maybe I'll have a cool weekend I will want to make a blogpost about, who knows. Though I don't have any plans yet which is really sad :(

-Stacey x